Non-verbal communication in children’s development
Studies show that people remember: 10% of they hear — 20% of what they read — 80% of what they see. This is because the human brain processes visual cues better rather than the written and oral language. There follows that non-verbal communication is at least as important - if not more - than spoken words.
“One of the things people mistakenly think with babies is that because they are pre-verbal, they don’t understand things” says Veronica Lawrence, specialist senior educational psychologist (early years) and co-founder of the Northamptonshire Baby Room Project. “It is important for practitioners to understand that infants are communicating all the time.”
So how do pre-verbal babies communicate?
Infants express themselves through sounds (crying, cooing, squealing), facial expressions (eye contact, smiling, grimacing) and gestures/body movements (moving legs in excitement or distress). All these cues and signals make up for children’s non-verbal communication. Ultimately, babies' initial non-verbal communication serves as an important bridge to future communication skills and their speech / language development.
Paying attention to what children try to communicate through non-verbal activities is crucial to ensure a balanced emotional, social and intellectual development. By learning to understand what your child is trying to communicate, you will also reduce the frustration of not being “heard”, which often translates to crying and screaming.
Every baby communicates in their own, particular way, so unfortunately there is no universal “dictionary” that will interpret your baby’s signals for you. However, in this article we will try to provide general guidelines and best practices to follow that might help parents improve communication with their toddlers.
Eye contact: making eye contact when communicating with your baby, or possibly sitting at eye-level, allows your child to observe your eyes, mouth, lips as you speak. It is through this observation that they will gradually learn to associate specific expressions or tones of voice to emotions. Eventually, children will automatically emulate this behaviour and it will become easier for you to understand what they are trying to communicate, as it will very much resemble your way of doing so.
Use exaggerated facial expressions and tones of voice: it’s true: toddlers try to communicate with us all the time. However, this does not mean that they are expert in doing so. As they learn new ways to express their feelings, you can facilitate their course of development by exaggerating your non-verbal cues and signals. Indeed, if your body language is insufficiently pronounced, it will be harder for your child to perceive it and therefore associate it with a certain emotion. Instead, by exaggerating it and therefore making it more obvious to your toddler’s untrained eyes, it will be easier for them to pick it up and imitate it.
Keeping engaged posture: it is also important to keep your body language open and receptive to your child. Facing your child, bending down to their level, and smiling, are examples of positive body language. Crossing arms, turning your back, and looking elsewhere are examples of negative body language and may make your child feel as though you are not listening to him/her.
Show them you understand: as already mentioned, showing children that you understand what they are trying to communicate to you is crucial, especially on an emotional level. Doing so is easier than you might think: if your child smiles at you, smile back. If your child is sad, nod your head and look sad yourself. If your child looks frustrated, make eye contact and use a calm, reassuring tone of voice. Those practices will be sufficient to show your child that you understand what he is feeling and will make him/her feel acknowledged and cared for.
Show examples: learning to interpret other people’s body language is also important for pre-verbal children. You can do this when you are outside playing or at school, but it can also be done at home. Television can be a good way to observe body language and can allow for a variety of non-verbal cues to be explored. Pausing a film or turning the sound off will highlight the characters’ body language, which can then be read if paused. You can even get musical by singing or playing toy instruments. When playing with your child, always be sure to place yourself at eye level so your child can easily see and hear you while you play together and learn from watching what you do.
Use alternative methods of communication: for some children who struggle with speaking, it is also beneficial to explore other ways of communicating. Many children find creative activities such as dancing, singing or drawing particularly freeing. This alternative might not only facilitate their verbal communication development but also give a boost to their creative self.
Should I talk to my child who does not speak yet?
Just because your child might not be verbalizing doesn’t mean you should stop talking to them. Indeed, talking with babies and children from birth is important because it builds your child’s language and communication skills. This is because parents who talk a lot to their young children use lots of different sounds and words. When children hear more words, it helps to improve their understanding of language, and increases the number and variety of words that they can understand and use. You don’t have to talk about complicated things: just describing what you are doing or how you are feeling will do the job. Same as for adults while learning a new language, being continuously exposed to someone speaking that language is the best way to learn.
Resources
https://www.nurseryworld.co.uk/features/article/non-verbal-communication-babies-more-than-words