Mental Heath in Young Children
Many might think that mental health issues only affect people after a certain age, but the truth is that mental health problems affect around one in six children. However, 75% of children and young people who experience a mental health problem do not receive appropriate help. This is because they might not always be able to fully communicate their feelings or they might be the ones struggling to identify them in the first place. As prevention is better than cure, parents should be aiming at supporting their kids in developing essential character strengths and life skills as early as possible.
Helping to lay the foundations
As early experiences shape the architecture of the developing brain, they also lay the foundations of sound mental health. Disruptions to this developmental process can impair a child’s capacities for learning and relating to others — with lifelong implications.
One effective approach parents can adopt to support their kid’s mental stability is that of focusing on our children’s strengths, positive qualities and future potential rather than what they don’t do well. Professor Lea Waters of the Melbourne Graduate School of Education showed that when parents deliberately identify and nurture their child’s positive attributes and qualities, it helps them create a ‘positive filter’ that makes them more able to cope with and adapt to stress. By connecting kids with their innate strengths and developing them (strengths of character, abilities or talents), we help them feel more satisfied with their life and themselves. This provides a buffer against developing mental health issues later on.
One really fun way to get children (and your whole family) thinking about strengths is spotting them in books, movies or TV shows. Through the lens of character strengths there can be a lesson about love, friendship, wisdom, forgiveness, morality and so forth. By exploring positive role models and perhaps discussing how protagonists demonstrate good character, children develop a foundation of self-worth and learn the value of things such as working hard, building healthy relationships or regulating their behaviour. Even for the youngest age groups, still unable to speak, showing educational TV programmes or movies that teach valuable lessons in a simple and concise way can start paving the way for your child’s mental stability.
It’s Ok to Be Sad
Another important step to take is to teach children to embrace their feelings rather than trying to avoid them. By teaching our children to be mindful of how they are feeling, we are building a strong foundation for learning how to be with what we are feeling, whatever that feeling is. When this lesson is learned, it opens the door to learning how to cope with our feelings more skillfully when they do arise.
Accordingly, although for some parents it might not be easy to open up and show a more vulnerable side, it is important to bear in mind that children do learn most from the people around them. For this reason, by not being afraid to show and fully experience even the most negative feelings, this will send your child a message that it is ok to experience such feelings. Similarly, watching TV shows and movies or reading books that are not afraid to insert moments of sadness in their narrative, gives children a further approval for their most negative emotions.
Social-Emotional Development
Supporting your child’s mental health at the earliest stages of his life might be the biggest challenge, firstly because they are unable to fully communicate their feelings, secondly because they are unsure about how they are feeling themselves. As it is really hard to communicate, parents can intervene in their children’s social-emotional development in other ways.
- Reassurance: especially when trying a new activity, toddlers will look for a familiar adult while playing. When they do so, try to be there for them and smile and reassure your toddler when he or she checks in with you during play. This will give them a sense of safety and build their trust in you.
- Independence: toddlers might start to attempt to do things for themselves at a very early age. Very often, they might also get frustrated by the assistance of their caregivers. In order to avoid disappointment and build self-worth and independence in your children, it is important to let them help with some routines and self-care activities, but first set them up for success. For instance,
- Decision-Making Processes: Toddlers have strong preferences for certain items and activities and will use “no” often. When this happens, offer them limited choices. For example, if your toddler is refusing to get dressed, you will ask them “Do you want the red or the blue shirt?”. This will help them learn to make choices and therefore be determined people. People who struggle with anxiety often struggle to make decisions, so learning to do so from a young age will reduce the likelihood of your child struggling with anxiety in the future and will make him/her a more independent person in charge of their own life.
- Be a Model: You are your child’s first teacher and they look up to you as a role model. Be a model of the emotions and behaviors you want your child to show, be present when they need you and give them space and time to learn when necessary. Your children will never be able to lay a strong foundation for their mental health if they are not provided with a parental model which is able to do so. For this reason, parents in the first place should be the ones seeking help if they are struggling with mental issues. By becoming a better, healthier person, it will be much easier to support your child in doing so.